Back to knitting and its accessories

Ok enough conspiracies. Let's talk uteruses.


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's an action shot.


Uterus Stitch Markers. I can't stand it. From ashleigh on etsy. She has more uterus items, also she has an affinity for carrots, horns, and boobies. I just looked up affinity, and it might not mean what I think it means. Let's just say she likes them.

Here's another action shot.

See those little blue stitch markers? They're hard to see, because no uteruses are attached. Boring.

But before I get distracted with Boris action shots, let's look at how Ashleigh sent the uteruses.


When was the last time you got a package with some hand drawn awesomeness on it? I'm speechless.

Here's a tip I got from some sassy lawyer ladies at my knitting group. If you shop at sephora.com, and you spend a lot of money, they give you free shipping. And let's face it, you're going to spend a lot of money anyway, and you don't have time to go all the way over there until next weekend, and they can ship it to you before that, and they are probably out of whatever you need at the B&M store, and you'd rather do something else next weekend anyway. But the really cool thing, and the reason I even brought this up, is that you can choose to add a gift bag for free!






And it's the perfect size for socks. And if you order a lot of stuff, they send you a bigger bag. Like for a scarf, or maybe even a sweater. So go gift bag yourself.




And as long as I'm promoting things today, you should be listening to Rilo Kiley, if you aren't already. Warning: I don't know what is up with that website, it's a littly crazy. But their music is great.

Conspiracies

A certain co-blogger, who has yet to blog, is concerned that the anti-frog is too "family friendly" due to all the knitting, and that her political rantings will be out of place. So let's drop knitting and discuss my second favorite topic: conspiracy theories. Lots of conspiracy fodder lately.

1. Severed internet cables in the Middle East.

Have you guys been paying attention to this? I feel it's not getting enough news coverage. First, 2 undersea cables were cut, severely limiting internet access to parts of the Middle East and India. The fishy part is that the cables were over a mile apart. They are blaming it on a storm. Ok, maybe. Even though we've never heard of this happening before. But the conspiracy part is that over the next few days, at least 2 and perhaps 3 more undersea cables were cut. Ok, whaaaaaat? Well, I won't make any suggestions as to who may be responsible for this, but somebody is up to no good, and it ain't no fisherman with an anchor. (Pirate, maybye. They are crafty.) Here's wired's take on the conspiracy, and someone else telling us all to calm down. Although I would point out that at the end of that last link, the conspiracy nay-sayer suggests that the cable failure could be due to "seismic". Well, I happen to know a little something about "seismic", and it's just not that hard to figure out if there was an earthquake damaging enough to sever some undersea cables. Let's play a game called find the earthquake that broke the internet. If you find one, I'll knit you a sock. Dr. J, what is your take on "volcanic" playing a role here?

2. Hillary Hating

What is up with all this seething hatred of Hillary Clinton? She has the same policies as Barak Obama but no one hates him. What the heck did she do? Besides the fact that she can't do anything right--if she is aggressive, she's a bitch, but if she cries, she's too weak to run the nation--there are people that just hate her but can't tell you why. The NYT says it better than I can. I call subconscious sexism. Interestingly, a lot of this seething hatred comes from women. Well that was not a conspiracy but I felt like pointing it out because it pisses me off.

3. Double Agent Ann Coulter

In a fascinating counterpoint to #2, Ann Coulter says that she will not only vote for, but also campaign for Hillary Clinton if John McCain gets the Republican nomination. There is video evidence. The conspiracy: She's a closet liberal and this was her plan all along. Ann Coulter has been gaining the support of the ultra conservatives for the past few years with her roundabout reasoning and crackpot ideas, and now when it counts, she's switching sides and using her crazy logic to sway the ultra conservatives over to their ultimate rival (see #2 above) Hillary Clinton! It's quite brilliant.

Next time on conspiracy theories: spinach! My favorite conspiracy of all time.

UPDATE: DC's favorite volcanologist has responded to #1 with a thorough geological analysis which corroborates the conspiracy theory. Thanks Dr. J!

Banana Socks

I just finished my banana socks. They are Spunky Eclectic skinny sock yarn in Monkey Farts. I loved making these. I would have taken a better picture but I can't take them off. Maybe later. You know on Arrested Development, when Lucille is surprised by Gene Parmesan, and she starts screaming with joy and flapping her arms around? That is how these socks make me feel. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But there is a problem.


Ladders. See that ugly column of looser stitches running down the middle? It is my new New Year's resolution to make those things go away. My old New Year's resolution was to score a goal in soccer. I'll still try to do that too. But this new resolution has a better chance of success.

Method 1: switch from DPN's to Magic Loop (scroll down and watch the video). So far, promising.


Method 2: Cat Bordhi in New Pathways for Sock Knitters (you need this book. I know it's $30. Just do it.) suggests knitting the first stitch on a needle like normal, then knit the second stitch tight. I discovered this tip right at the end of the second banana sock, and I think it was kind of working. It makes no sense to me but I'll take it.

Method 3: Knit more loosely in general, so it's not so hard to tighten up the joints. I made this up. No idea if that even works.

I know this is a common problem but clearly a lot of people have solved it for themselves. Anyone have some ladder-eliminating tips?